fiddle leaf photography
Jun 20, 2015
I’m not even really sure where to start with this post. I had myself convinced then I shouldn’t write it, but then I wouldn’t be being my true self. I ask my clients to open themselves up and share their raw, authentic story with me, so I think you deserve the same in return. This last week has challenged so many of my thought processes as a parents and has been a flood of emotions.
Last week, a member of the Edmonton Police Service was killed on duty. It was only the 4th in-service death in EPS history and the first one in 25 years. It was a completely senseless death that shouldn’t have happened, and it took a father and a husband away from his family far too soon. My heart breaks for his family and the incredibly hard journey they all have ahead of them.
My husband is a member of the same police service. Although his career in policing is fairly new, his work in dangerous situations isn’t. It’s a part of him, and I accepted that very early on in our relationship. When he started in policing, people would often ask me if I worried about him when he was at work. My answer was always no. He is trained incredibly well and I trust his judgement, as well as the co-workers who I know have his back . This week though, my fairly laid back attitude about it all was tested. It could have been us.
I couldn’t help but love a little harder this week. To squeeze those tiny little bodies that call me Mom a little longer. To appreciate the relationships we have, and to not take for granted the sight of my husband’s car pulling into the driveway at the end of shift.
As we saw the blue ribbons pop up around the city we found ourselves having to explain why to our 3 year old daughter. As we watched the funeral and witnessed 5000 people marching through downtown, I attempted to explain to her what a Celebration of Life really means. It brought up many questions from her that I wasn’t ready to answer, but was forced to work my way through very delicately. It’s an incredibly difficult task to be raw and honest with your children while still maintaining a feeling of security and comfort for them. To share with them that emotions are not only ok but are actually healthy, is sometimes harder than I’d like to admit. Explaining it to her forced us to dig a bit deeper into our own beliefs and have many conversations about the ‘what ifs’. Conversations that we didn’t want to have, but that we know are important.
These past few days have done nothing but reinforce my belief that those everyday moments are gold. They are the glue that hold us together and shape our family. They are the moments I am passionate about capturing for my children so they can see how fiercely we loved them on an ordinary Thursday afternoon.
Each month I participate in a blog circle with a group of photographers from around the world who celebrate and document what Motherhood Is to them. You can catch up on all of my Motherhood Is posts here. To follow the circle around, please visit Jessica’s blog.